Save My Marriage Today

Maintaining Relationships With Teenagers After Divorce

Divorced non-custodial parents often find that they struggle to maintain healthy relationships with their children, especially during the adolescent years. Clinical psychologist Anthony E. Wolf weighs in on this issue by suggesting that you find a balance between smothering your teens and abandoning them.

Author of six parenting books, including Get out of my life, but first could you drive me and Cheryl to the mall?: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager, Wolf says that it is par for the course for teenagers to assert their independence by rebelling regardless of whether or not their parents are happily married or divorced. Teens would rather be hanging out with their friends than going to the mall with you.

The Added Challenge of Divorce

However, the additional hurdle comes when the children feel like they need to or should pick a side with feuding parents. The other alternative would be for them to wait it out in the ambiguous middle, which can be confusing and painful. Teenagers may blame the parent who they think was in the wrong. Furthermore, the children tend to side with the parent they are living with – often the mother – and that can increase the Emotional distance as well.

Creating a Balance

All hope is not lost though. It is important not to pester your children too much, especially during adolescence when they are trying to prove that they are not children. You don’t want to keep pushing your children because they will push back. That is a battle neither of you will win.

Don’t turn a blind eye either. Always remember important dates like birthdays, holidays, big exams, and key school events. Call your children but not constantly. Suggest that you spend face-to-face time together but don’t force the issue. Even though it may be frustrating to make an effort which yields little positive response, you should continue to show interest in your children. Eventually they will recognize your concern and warmth.

Long-term Hope

You may feel so beat down at times that you want to give up and walk away. This is a natural reaction. Nevertheless, keep in mind that despite the rejected dinner invitations and sighs of annoyance, deep down your children do still care. They would be disappointed if you stopped behaving like their parent. The silver lining is that if you can stick by your children during their teenage years it is likely that they will begin to see you in a new light once they enter young adulthood. Their perspective will change and a healthy relationship can progress from there.

About the Author

Paul Banas is a founder of GreatDad.com. He writes articles on pregnancy care, baby names, toilet training, parenting tips and many more topics related to divorced dads.

Dan Savage on How to Maintain a Long Relationship

The One With the Girl From Poughkeepsie $1.99 …

Nothing But The Truth $5.49 …

Deuces Wild $9.99 …

Last Child in the Woods: Saving Our Children From Nature-Deficit Disorder $5.87 Richard Louv was the first to identify a phenomenon we all knew existed but couldn’t quite articulate: nature-deficit disorder. His book Last Child in the Woods created a national conversation about the disconnection between children and nature, and his message has galvanized an international movement. Now, three years after its initial publication, we have reached a tipping point, with Leave No C…

Marriage Fitness: 4 Steps to Building & Maintaining Phenomenal Love $4.05 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success….

Good Friends Are Hard to Find $13.63 This guide teaches parents clinically-tested techniques from UCLA’s world-renowned Children’s Social Skills Program for helping their 5- to 12-year-olds make friends and solve problems with other kids. Also provided is concrete help for handling teasing, bullying, and meanness, both for the child who is picked on and for the tormentor….

Petz Rescue Wildlife Vet $17.00 DS Petz Rescue: Wildlife Vet…

Ciao Bella: la Bella Romanza $0.01 Ciao Bella is a unique and fun simulation game in which you become Elena, a modern career woman with a sometimes complicated but always interesting life. Help overcome the many catastrophes that arise in the lives of your friends and family while advancing your own career, maintaining your health, and developing your relationship with Elio. Put your life management skills to the tests as you mak…

NATURAL GENUINE PAIR OF GOLD LODESTONES: Natural magnets that are used ATTRACT AND MAINTAIN GOOD LUCK, PROMOTE AND SPEED HEALING $9.95 PAIR OF GOLD LODESTONES: Natural magnets used ATTRACT AND MAINTAIN GOOD LUCK, PROMOTE AND SPEED HEALING etc: * from HIBISCUS EXPRESS, http://www.amazon.com/shops/AXD9LOVGJXES3 * Used to charge Spell items, attract things to the one using them, Used in Preparing to unite couples, LOVERS Business Partners etc: Piedra Iman, se utiliza para atraer Amor, Negocio, y prosperidad. Balances Yin and Yan …

New Individual Software Anytime Organizer Deluxe 11 Stay Connected W/ Time Zone Clocks $37.26 Stay Organized and Professional; Dramatically improve your professional image when you accomplish tasks on time, are more organized, and are better prepared with critical information for meetings and appointments. Keep in Touch in a Mobile World; Whether you are synchronizing your information to your handheld device or printing your calendar, to-do list and address book to popular paper-based orga…